The Tottenham Chronicles

HAKIM ZEROPECS AKA GALATASARARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

ALKMAAR, PALACE, CITY, VILLA AND GALATASARAY...
ON WE MARCH TO BILBAO?!
FROM "WE HAVE NEYMAR" TO " "GALAHORRORSHOW"
ACH FOOK IT.

WORST HAM (4-1)

12 corners in the first half. My word. 
Look forward to our potted history of AZ Alkmaar. Mousa Dembele's team and Jonny Metgod... if you know, you know. 
onto Palace!

STAY HUMBLE HUH?

It's been a case of the 'Bad' (Arsenal, 0-1), the 'Fugly' (Coventry 1-2) and the 'Good' Brentford (3-1) in the past week and next up we welcome Qarabag to the WHL on Thursday in the Europa followed by an Old Trafford showdown that never disappoints in terms of tragedy against a knock-kneed Yanited on the Weekend.
We deep the City - Arsenal game, Rodri's ACL, Haaland lobbing the ball at Gabriels head after a 97th minute equaliser and spend some time discussing the travesty of that 2nd half as Assna went a man down and played a 5-4-0.
We turn our attention to the Brentford game which overall was much more coherent against an admittedly lower order team but the signs are that the side is looking more settled and clearer in what they can expect of each other as their roles are tweaked and modified to get the best of what we have. 
"Stay humble, huh?" 
COYS
 
follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron
IG: @TOTTCHRON
E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com
https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles
 
buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv

"SPURS LACK CHOLISMO" NEW2-1SPURS

Newcastle away...🥶 Well at least we didn't have our arses handed to us...So...there's that.😇
Pep Guardiola called it. "Pre season is over" with the first 3 games before the nations league tomfoolery and Spurs in that time have drawn, won and lost... 🤠
Cardoso, Lo Celso and Dan Burns OG's...yummy.😜
Assna next.... oooo yeah
Up the Spurs

NEW SEASON, FOOK THE REST!!

An opening Leicester 1-1 draw and a resounding victory (4-0) against a zombie Everton team at home... It's the 2024/25 season ladies and gentlemen and we've got Europa bollocks to contend with so don't get too comfortable. 
It's Porro, Bissouma, Son and Romero all leading the charge and it's the Newcastle graveyard next. Ouch.

FARCE CARNVIAL SPURS 0-2 CITY

The strangest game.

BRYAN GIL IN GOAL AGAINST CITY! LIVERPOOL 4 -2 SPURS, CHE 2- 0, SPURS 2-3 ARSENAL

Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool away when we've all mentally checked out. Auuuugggghhhhhhffffttttt. Here's to relegating mighty Burnley at the weekend!
ROLL ON NEXT SEASON!
 

OWNGOALECOGLOU - 3-1 FORREST/ MURILLO (OG) VDV, PORRO

Ange Postecoglou's system relies on pull backs which in turn lends itself to Own Goals, this week we discuss whether Ange gets a goal bonus for  these rather delicious opposition resilience breakers. Spurs have created the most OG's in the league so we ask does that mean that Spurs are saving on goal and assist bonuses this season and does Levy give a Ange a pat on the back each week?
Big end to the season coming up - Arsenal, Liverpool and City!

FLUSHED AWAY (INTO THE THAMES) 3-0 FULHAM, MUNIZ 2, LUKIC 1. FACK.

We interrupt our transmission to play a hand of Football Trivial Pursuit (circa 2005) because Tottenham were so awful in their 3-0 humbling at the hands of a buoyant Fulham. 
Top 4 is still very much on, but crikey it's going to be bumpy! Luton at home next. Come on!!!
follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron
IG: tottchron
E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com
https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles
buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
 

KEVINDEBRUYNESARR_ 0-4_VILLA, Maddison, Johnson, Son and Werner!

Spurs will decide where the title goes. Nice warm up for next year. Yeah booooiiiiii

RICHARLISON

AFCON and the ASIAN cup is over for our boys. Injuries are thing of the past and everyone is back. We have scores to settle...and no Europe to distract.
We 5th and dangerous...most nourishing.
follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron
IG: tottchron
E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com
https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles
buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv

PORRO PORRO SAUCE (1-0 Burnley, FA CUP)

Timo Werner appears out of nowhere, Radu Dragusin arrives and dreams of Madrid (according to chatty agent) and VDV and Romero might be fit for Old Trafford. 
Son, Biss and Sarr won't be with us and the January transfer window is gaping and yet we've already got 2 in the sack.
A narrow victory over Burnley in the FA Cup is discussed with City to come next (cheers Mabbsy!) although we they get nowt from Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, so no danger there then.
And of course it's Goodbye for now, to Eric Dier...he still loves me you know.
Happy Caddying for Harry!
#COYS

Porro = Barca, Romero = Madrid, Sarr = the universe

A power-lifting City 3-3 last gasp draw, a gut-dropping 1-2 at the hands of the Spammers and a resounding Barcodes pummeling 4-1 - that's entertainment folks! Things are looking up. Onto the City Ground!
We discuss giving Romero the armband, to keep his value high and on the pitch, why 2019 sucked the life out of Ten Hag and why Richarlison will "helicopter" past hangdog Steve Cooper and reveal more than just his pubis...
But wait, is that VDV back on the grass, I see boys? COOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOONNNNNNN!
 
follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron
IG: tottchron
E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com
https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles
 
buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv

DISEMBOWELMENT - CHELSEA AND WOLVES

Well, the Ange love-in was vomit inducing anyways and 2 defeats on the bounce represents the death of that. (which is a relief) We are now faced with pure and unadulterated shit-stormery through course of December with no International breaks to catch our fall.
After an egregious slice of cataclysmic misfortune against Chelsea that repeatedly had it's way with us, in the end, we firmly and most resolutely perished on our swords - which is something. 
The Chelsea debacle (after being so close to 2-0)  represented the most gut-flipping of matches since the UCL final in 2019 (seems so far away doesn't it?) but in playing a high line with 9 men, it sent a message....that we are coming for you our way, which is something that confuses our gawping opponents who would elect for sitting in and defending for their lives - how very undignified - which says to me the Ange way is the right way...our way... and I love that.
Onto Villa with Dier and Davies. Oh My!
COYS

SPURS TOP DOGS? OR IS EVERYONE ELSE DOO DOO?

Crystal Palace 1-2 (Ward OG & Son). Still top. It's November. Crimes! Until we play City I don't know where we are.
ARRRRRGGGHHHHFFFFTTT.
We discuss El Classico, the Manchester derby and the return of Pochettino!
Hurrah
 
follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron
IG: tottchron
E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com
https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles
 
buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv

No EZE, No OLISE, No problem, right? + 2-0 Fulham Review.

We can go 5 points clear with a win against a Eze and Elise-less Crystal Palace. My word. 
We look back on Fulham at home (2-0, Son, Maddison) and spend some time on our own personal football odyssey to Barcelona for a veterans, 5-aside tournament. We bombed. But what a tear up! 
Up the Spurs.
 

OLI SAYS DELAY_ARSENAL_2-2_LIVERPOOL_2-1_LUTON_0-1

No words, we are top of the league.

ARRIEVEDERCI DON PENITENTIARY

How on earth do Arsenal beat us? Dey fucked.
Snatching a 2-1 victory against a relegation fancied Sheffield United with a 98th (RICHY) and 100th (KULU) minute winner sets up the Arsenal nice and cozy. 
We are a different Spurs. We are the same. 
follow us @TottenhamChron
IG: tottchron
E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com
https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles
buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv