The Tottenham Chronicles

FRANKFURT AKA THE MOODY DIVA

WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LEAGUE. THIS IS OUR SECRET WEAPON.

EL COULDN'TCARELESSICO

OUT OF THE CUPS, BRENTFORD AND YANITED WINS AND SOCIEDAD OR AZ ALKMAAR IN THE EUROPA. BEAT YANITED 4 TIMES THIS SEASON IN BILBAO????

Do You like Beathoven?

Elfsborg (3-0)and Brentford (0-2). FFS.
Tel, Danso and some kids. Dragusin ACL, no CB's and Liverpool for the cup final. Oh and Villa after that with Rashford. Strange world. Nom Nom Nom

THE BRAZILIAN GLENN WHELAN

With Christmas ruined let's see if we can kill the most depressing month of the year. You go get 'em Spurs. 
Wolves (2-2), and Newcastle (1-2)
And why Spurs this season should be called the Archie Gray finishing school FC.

TIMO BURNERPHONE - SOU 0 - 5 SPURS

SPURS HAVE RECEIVED VERY LITTLE CHARITY THIS DECEMBER BUT HEY, WE STUFFED THE SAINTS (0-5) TO SEND RUSSELL MARTIN REACHING FOR HIS COERVER METHOD ANNUAL. (THE DUDE MISSED THE 5TH GOAL COS HE WAS BUSY EMPTYING HIS LOCKER)
WE LOOK FORWARD TO YANITED IN THE ENERGY CUP AND LIVERPOOL IN THE LEAGUE. ( WE COULD MAKE IT VERRRRRRYYYY INTERESTING OR PERISH IN A BALL OF FLAMES. EITHER OR. PFFFT
 
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA

THE VICARIO SCENARIO

BOURNEMOUTH, CHELSEA, RANGERS...dont' get scared now. 

HAKIM ZEROPECS AKA GALATASARARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

ALKMAAR, PALACE, CITY, VILLA AND GALATASARAY...
ON WE MARCH TO BILBAO?!
FROM "WE HAVE NEYMAR" TO " "GALAHORRORSHOW"
ACH FOOK IT.

WORST HAM (4-1)

12 corners in the first half. My word. 
Look forward to our potted history of AZ Alkmaar. Mousa Dembele's team and Jonny Metgod... if you know, you know. 
onto Palace!

STAY HUMBLE HUH?

It's been a case of the 'Bad' (Arsenal, 0-1), the 'Fugly' (Coventry 1-2) and the 'Good' Brentford (3-1) in the past week and next up we welcome Qarabag to the WHL on Thursday in the Europa followed by an Old Trafford showdown that never disappoints in terms of tragedy against a knock-kneed Yanited on the Weekend.
We deep the City - Arsenal game, Rodri's ACL, Haaland lobbing the ball at Gabriels head after a 97th minute equaliser and spend some time discussing the travesty of that 2nd half as Assna went a man down and played a 5-4-0.
We turn our attention to the Brentford game which overall was much more coherent against an admittedly lower order team but the signs are that the side is looking more settled and clearer in what they can expect of each other as their roles are tweaked and modified to get the best of what we have. 
"Stay humble, huh?" 
COYS
 
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"SPURS LACK CHOLISMO" NEW2-1SPURS

Newcastle away...🥶 Well at least we didn't have our arses handed to us...So...there's that.😇
Pep Guardiola called it. "Pre season is over" with the first 3 games before the nations league tomfoolery and Spurs in that time have drawn, won and lost... 🤠
Cardoso, Lo Celso and Dan Burns OG's...yummy.😜
Assna next.... oooo yeah
Up the Spurs

NEW SEASON, FOOK THE REST!!

An opening Leicester 1-1 draw and a resounding victory (4-0) against a zombie Everton team at home... It's the 2024/25 season ladies and gentlemen and we've got Europa bollocks to contend with so don't get too comfortable. 
It's Porro, Bissouma, Son and Romero all leading the charge and it's the Newcastle graveyard next. Ouch.

FARCE CARNVIAL SPURS 0-2 CITY

The strangest game.

BRYAN GIL IN GOAL AGAINST CITY! LIVERPOOL 4 -2 SPURS, CHE 2- 0, SPURS 2-3 ARSENAL

Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool away when we've all mentally checked out. Auuuugggghhhhhhffffttttt. Here's to relegating mighty Burnley at the weekend!
ROLL ON NEXT SEASON!
 

OWNGOALECOGLOU - 3-1 FORREST/ MURILLO (OG) VDV, PORRO

Ange Postecoglou's system relies on pull backs which in turn lends itself to Own Goals, this week we discuss whether Ange gets a goal bonus for  these rather delicious opposition resilience breakers. Spurs have created the most OG's in the league so we ask does that mean that Spurs are saving on goal and assist bonuses this season and does Levy give a Ange a pat on the back each week?
Big end to the season coming up - Arsenal, Liverpool and City!

FLUSHED AWAY (INTO THE THAMES) 3-0 FULHAM, MUNIZ 2, LUKIC 1. FACK.

We interrupt our transmission to play a hand of Football Trivial Pursuit (circa 2005) because Tottenham were so awful in their 3-0 humbling at the hands of a buoyant Fulham. 
Top 4 is still very much on, but crikey it's going to be bumpy! Luton at home next. Come on!!!
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KEVINDEBRUYNESARR_ 0-4_VILLA, Maddison, Johnson, Son and Werner!

Spurs will decide where the title goes. Nice warm up for next year. Yeah booooiiiiii

RICHARLISON

AFCON and the ASIAN cup is over for our boys. Injuries are thing of the past and everyone is back. We have scores to settle...and no Europe to distract.
We 5th and dangerous...most nourishing.
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PORRO PORRO SAUCE (1-0 Burnley, FA CUP)

Timo Werner appears out of nowhere, Radu Dragusin arrives and dreams of Madrid (according to chatty agent) and VDV and Romero might be fit for Old Trafford. 
Son, Biss and Sarr won't be with us and the January transfer window is gaping and yet we've already got 2 in the sack.
A narrow victory over Burnley in the FA Cup is discussed with City to come next (cheers Mabbsy!) although we they get nowt from Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, so no danger there then.
And of course it's Goodbye for now, to Eric Dier...he still loves me you know.
Happy Caddying for Harry!
#COYS