The Tottenham Chronicles

This week we celebrate Sonny the City Slayer… as his solitary goal lays waste to Premier league champions and UCL finalists opening day aspirations.
In a match where all the while our hero and saviour Harry Kane witnessed proceedings from the bib cupboard deep in the bowls of the Amazon Echo arena to eventually creep out at midnight to be ignored by the street sweepers…

Season 2 of the Tottenham Chronicles...
It's Nuno time at the White Hart Amazon Echo Dome and pre-season has gone swimmingly.
We talk notable departures in Lamela and Aldeweireld and the exciting arrivals of Romero, Gollini, and Bryan Gil.
Next on our list of topics is our little snafu regarding our number 10 and nations darling Harry Kane...
When it comes to national treasures the list goes: 1/The Queen, 2/Stephen Fry, 3/Clare Balding, 4/Harry Kane and we discuss how much Manchester City need our talisman to be loved and consider whether Manchester City fielding a weakened team on Sunday is part of the proposed Harry Kane transfer. 
And still losing....
Oooooohhhppfftttt!
 
 

Jose is sacked by Spurs. He never really recovered from Zagreb did he? But overall, was his tenure just a bad dream when it would appear that the only thing of concern to Spurs was somehow hoodwinking their way into the European Super league without any of the footballing merit?
Spurs can't win at football in the face of financially bloated squad's and so decided to win at football, away from the pitch, with commercial ties and a huge multi purpose arena to attract JP Morgan, the bank financing the European Super league.
It would appear Daniel Levy used Mourinho's stature and pedigree in the game to catapult Spurs into a competition that they really have very little right to participating in. Mourinho was in on it. The task was complete.
What we have learnt in this unfortunate episode is that winning, losing and drawing are of no consequence when the European Super league rolls into town. 
I'm as furious as when the offside rule was created in the 1863 when dishonour was brought to the game. It will always be this way. 
Let's get back to playing nice football, shall we?
 

🥁It's been a nourishing FIVE wins since our forgettable West Ham defeat a month ago.
We have recently witnessed the return to form of Bale and quite possibly Harry Kane's most accomplished finish ever as they lit up victories against Burnely 4-0, Wolfsberger 8-1 on Aggregate, Fulham 0-1 and Palace 4-1.
🇦🇷All this served to tee up a clash for the ages as we faced 10th placed Arsenal in what ultimately resulted in a bad day at the abattoir with a grizzly affair where everything hit the skids for the Spurs and with it bringing a 2-1 defeat consisting of a:
A Lamela Rabona goal with our first attack of the half;
A deflected Odegaard strike to level;
An existential crisis of a penalty in the form of a Lacazette air shot which eventually made it 2-1;
A 2nd yellow for Lamela for a hand in Tierney's face... whilst in possession of the ball. 🤬
And the unedifying spectacle of witnessing our right back drown on a slightly moist pitch. 
We look ahead to the 2nd Leg away at Dynamo Zagreb and discuss just who will be in the technical area as we learn that Head Coach Zoran Mamic is soon to be incarcerated for pocketing the Modric transfer money 12 years ago.⏳
And we finish up by addressing the constant tinkering of the rules in the game as we propose tangible rule changes that we can all get behind, like;
Goals will no longer be the end of the fun, as we suggest that we make more of every goal by proposing the absolute anarchy of being able to double your tally by offering the opportunity to any member of the attacking team to hit the bar after the ball has hit the back of the net, to earn your side 2 goals...not the mere 1 as the miserly game currently offers. Imagine the chaos? That's Double Goal Trouble. 😳
tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com

🥶Spurs find themselves in February 2021 convulsing between 2 conflicting world's (🤑both horrendous🤬) threshing in the mire, a dead squad tied to a renounced regime. Will the necromancer be allowed to continue his purge so that it may rise once more? 
We look at Liverpool, Brighton, Chelsea, West Bromwich, Everton and Manchester City games. Yowzas. 🤡
 

This week the Chroniclers spend far too long considering:
🤬 the upsetting 1-1 draw with Fulham
🤭the tasty 1-3 against Sheffield United and Ndombele's unique talent.
🤿 the bog standard Wycombe Wanderers victory 1-4 in the F.A cup.
🧄We also preview Liverpool, talk through the Rodri silly offside that prompted a rule change and why it's a shame Spurs were deprived of getting Frank Lampard sacked as Abramovich pulled the trigger before we had the chance.
bugger.
🍔

☠️ Leeds walk straight into José's Lair. 3-0
🙀Brentford try to give us Coronavirus as we head to Wembley... In April... 2-0
🚮Dele is mugged off by his own bench in Marine. 0-5
 

😈 This week we rip into the Liverpool, Leicester and Wolverhampton Wanderers game's and hypothesise why José parks the bus and then summarily he throws everyone under it. 
💩Perhaps to get a few more players in the January window? Who knows. Enjoy
and Merry Christmas. What's left of it.👍

👾In Tottenham's biggest league game since 2010 is tonight the night we finally become winners we've all been afraid of and prevail at fortress Anfield?💉
🦷Oh and we look back at Crystal Palace, Royal Antwerp and Arsenal.🧘🏼

It's hard watching for everyone isn't it? but at least we are top of the league?

🛎Bale takes 3 minutes to take all 3 points against strikerless Brighton in a 2-1 win that lifts Spurs to 2nd.
🧸José throws toys out of the pram with 4 half-time substitutions against the number 1 matriculated side in Belgium, Royal Antwerp
💔Pochettino waltzes back into our lives, flaunting it on Monday Night football and compares Dele to Ronaldinho surely not.

- It's all hail Vinicius this week, as we applaud the Brazilian's standout debut for Spurs in the Europa League.
- We take a look at how Trippier, Foyth and Vertonghen are doing abroad owing to my lack of cancelling my Premier Sports subscription. UGH.
- and finally we examine the match that only a mother could love against the blunt instrument that is Burnley and how it was every bit as crucial as defacing United 1-6 at Old Trafford.

On the show this week we slobber all over the 3-3 with West Ham;
We take a forensic and yet apoplectic look at Project 'Big Picture'
which turned out to be Euro Super League. OOPS!!! 
and finally we discuss whether José is the perfect Covid Coach to deliver the prize we all crave.

Spurs ended the-fixture-pile-up-from-hell week with a resounding 1-6 at Old Trafford; a scoreline that beat the 1-5 demolition of United in 1959 (WHAAAAT?) when Bobby Smith was banging them in. 
Golly. What could it all mean ? 🤔 
 

- DIER TAKES A CARABAO ON CHELSEA'S LEAGUE CUP HOPES
- IT'S A 1-1 VAR HORROR SHOW AGAINST NEWCASTLE
- AND IT'S MACCABI OR BUST IN THE Europa League PLAY OFF FINAL

It's death by high line at St Mary's as Spurs send Southampton packing 2-5 followed by a 1-3 win in the Europa League playoffs against KF Shkendija in Macedonia to set up a tie against Maccabi Haifa. Ugh. It's gonna be a long year. 

Everton, Plovdiv, Bale and anti Communist Paramilitary movements are put under the microscope by the Hackney marshes prognosticators.

The Sunday morning suckers are back to pore over 3 middle order pre season wins; whether Hjobjerg could be the new Jordan Henderson and the Amazon fly in the ointment documentary 'All or Nothing'.