The Tottenham Chronicles
2 Hackney marshes footballers discuss the farce carnival that is Premier League football.
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Episodes
Friday Dec 15, 2023
Friday Dec 15, 2023
A power-lifting City 3-3 last gasp draw, a gut-dropping 1-2 at the hands of the Spammers and a resounding Barcodes pummeling 4-1 - that's entertainment folks! Things are looking up. Onto the City Ground!
We discuss giving Romero the armband, to keep his value high and on the pitch, why 2019 sucked the life out of Ten Hag and why Richarlison will "helicopter" past hangdog Steve Cooper and reveal more than just his pubis...
But wait, is that VDV back on the grass, I see boys? COOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOONNNNNNN!
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Friday Nov 24, 2023
Friday Nov 24, 2023
Well, the Ange love-in was vomit inducing anyways and 2 defeats on the bounce represents the death of that. (which is a relief) We are now faced with pure and unadulterated shit-stormery through course of December with no International breaks to catch our fall.
After an egregious slice of cataclysmic misfortune against Chelsea that repeatedly had it's way with us, in the end, we firmly and most resolutely perished on our swords - which is something.
The Chelsea debacle (after being so close to 2-0) represented the most gut-flipping of matches since the UCL final in 2019 (seems so far away doesn't it?) but in playing a high line with 9 men, it sent a message....that we are coming for you our way, which is something that confuses our gawping opponents who would elect for sitting in and defending for their lives - how very undignified - which says to me the Ange way is the right way...our way... and I love that.
Onto Villa with Dier and Davies. Oh My!
COYS
Saturday Nov 04, 2023
Saturday Nov 04, 2023
Crystal Palace 1-2 (Ward OG & Son). Still top. It's November. Crimes! Until we play City I don't know where we are.
ARRRRRGGGHHHHFFFFTTT.
We discuss El Classico, the Manchester derby and the return of Pochettino!
Hurrah
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Thursday Oct 26, 2023
Thursday Oct 26, 2023
We can go 5 points clear with a win against a Eze and Elise-less Crystal Palace. My word.
We look back on Fulham at home (2-0, Son, Maddison) and spend some time on our own personal football odyssey to Barcelona for a veterans, 5-aside tournament. We bombed. But what a tear up!
Up the Spurs.
Thursday Oct 12, 2023
Saturday Sep 23, 2023
Saturday Sep 23, 2023
How on earth do Arsenal beat us? Dey fucked.
Snatching a 2-1 victory against a relegation fancied Sheffield United with a 98th (RICHY) and 100th (KULU) minute winner sets up the Arsenal nice and cozy.
We are a different Spurs. We are the same.
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Thursday Sep 14, 2023
Thursday Sep 14, 2023
Ashley Barnes couldn't save Burnley this time as Vincent Kompany got his city arse handed to him.
We discuss international break and Sheffield Next!
Up the Spurs...
Saturday Sep 02, 2023
Saturday Sep 02, 2023
This week we discuss how defenestration works during a transfer window; the cozy Bournemouth victory on the South Coast and the ignominious exit of the the League Cup at the hands of Marco Silva's Fulham.
Turf Moor next!
Welcome to the madhouse Brennan Johnson!
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Thursday Aug 24, 2023
Thursday Aug 24, 2023
The start of the Ange dynasty began a heroic 2-2 draw against Brentford followed by an emboldening 2-0 victory against an expensively assembled and crap Yanited.
Our esteemed panel discuss scoring a goal with the aid of a concussion and Yves Bissouma nutmegging Casemiro and thus taking all his UCL medals in one fell swoop.
We finish by trying to talk about Bournemouth but how knows anything about them.
Should be fun, Enjoy!
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Thursday Aug 10, 2023
Thursday Aug 10, 2023
Our best player is going to leave...or is he? Pre season has been less than ideal, bounced around the sub continent with very little to show for it. But, Spurs are different, back to the old, something perhaps we should never have turned our back on but here we are.
Toughen up guys cos the season will be wild.
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
It's the dead zone of football and podcasts are truly scraping the barrel. We aren't dead but we are bloated with preseason tittle tattle.
We discuss Harry, Hojbjerg, Vicario, Solomon and Van de Ven and our new vibes manager Angelos Postecoglu who we all hope is something more than just vibes. But hey, the back 4 is back (with no one able to fill these ranks) and wingbacks are a thing of the 70's and we merely have 6 of those, but no matter.
I think we might be going back to a mid 90's isn't Ruel Fox tricky era. Oh good freakin' God.
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
SPURS 2-3 BOURNEMOUTH. A grizzly affair.
Apologies are in order - throughout the episode admin was testing out a wet fart sound effect (seemed fitting) that would record live but it didn't make it onto the imported files(we'll investigate this). So it would appear to the listener that we are laughing at nothing (again, fitting given Spur's finale to the season).
So to be clear that whenever we laugh for no reason(this happens a fair amount)...imagine a sloppy fart sound effect and an accompanying actual turd, I find it helps with finding closure with this chod that won't flush kinda season.
Bournemouth at home. We lost...Ha. 2-3
Well as long as we're building for the ffffuuuuut... ah forget it.
Enjoy the show.
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
So VAR in the end cut shorter Conté's reign (by 10 weeks).
Wiithout that BS decision at Southampton Spurs would have been 3rd and the Italian would still be here. I suppose it's better this way. Oh well the football was excrement...but his first full season? Ouch.
But we've kept all Conte's staff...whichh means he's still here, so it was a personality contest and no one likes you. Fine.
In other news FIFA has decreed that Paratici can't function as a DOF, well, at least we got Romero before his black book got seized and good luck in football jail.
Everton, next.
Oh whatever.
#COYS
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Thursday Mar 23, 2023
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
😶🌫️3-3 against bottom of the table Southampton. 3-1 up with 15 to go. Ouch. I even watched Brentford during the week to get a steer on them. Sheeesh.☹️
😡Conté has done a "Burnley" and given us piece of his mind in what has become his yearly address but will he be around to pick up the pieces after this instance of oratorical fireworks where no prisoners were taken. ☠️They were obliterated and then phlegm'd on.
BOMBACLATENACCIO
💣💣💣
Tuesday Mar 14, 2023
Tuesday Mar 14, 2023
Fakinel. We are on the floor. 2 goals in 6 games. Out of the FA Cup, Adama'd at Molineux and then 180 minutes of slow fade to black against AC Milan for Spurs to exit the UCL.
This is a tough one.
Recorded straight after the game. Too annoyed to publish immediately. Here we are.
We did beat Nottingham Forest, so, Top 4 is still on but twas a bitter blow ending a turd of a week.
Enjoy! uck'Well!
Tuesday Feb 28, 2023
Tuesday Feb 28, 2023
2-0 v Chelsea. (Skipp, Kane) 26th feb 2023
For 20 years Chelsea have been a jacked up Frankenstein, today, a bloated corpse circumventing FFP by being execrable. We’ll enjoy this one.
This week we salute academy graduate Oliver Skipp, fulfilling his boyhood dream of scoring for Spurs; 13 years in the making.
For all the shite that surrounds the game…Stories like Skipp’s reminds you that football cannot be tamed.
Top 4 is very much on with important games coming up…Just like last year - and even though the injury list makes for unpleasant reading...the team works despite it's lack of frills.
Up the Spurs.
Tuesday Feb 07, 2023
Tuesday Feb 07, 2023
🤪Lloris - retired from international football, Bale plays golf full-time, Paratici could be going to jail, Doherty is fired (mutually), Kane top Spurs scorer ever, we finally get Porro, City to get relegated due to financial tomfoolery and Conté's bile duct expl🤬des. It's been a fun few weeks for Spurs and, dare I say it, things are aligning rather nicely.
🤓We look back at City 1-0 (Kane) and look ahead at the train-wreck that is AC Milan right now in the UCL!
#Coys
Saturday Jan 07, 2023
Saturday Jan 07, 2023
"End of the World" after Villa (0-2) they said - but then the Palace away (0-4) victory was so comprehensive, which makes everything strangely the same. Listen close, Tottenham will go to the wire... it will be most absorbing...
Arsenal next...most delectable.
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