The Tottenham Chronicles

”It‘s not you, Nuno, It‘s Tottenham.”

Nuno has been sacked after 4 months in the job...Classy....surely the easiest 4 Million quid anyone this week has every made. 
We got the dog of War and serial crater maker Antonio Conté to shake things up...I hope the lies Don Fabio has spun him don't put too much of a strain on their relationship. 
It's going to end in a ball of flames, and everyone is invited. 
 

The Pit and the Pendulum (S2E6)

Welcome to the Tottenham Chronicles podcast, a show where we know our Kevin Scott’s from our Noureddine Naybet’s and this week we ruminate on two 1-0 away reversals at Vitesse Arnhem in the Euro Budgens plate and West Ham in the Global Ephemera shield.
Two outfits that have subsequently lost to Go Ahead Eagles and the other reducing Manchester City to rubble in in the Manchester City cup. 
We don't talk about Burnley in this one at all. But we went through. Hurrah!
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Jonjo Shelvey - not the kind of human rights abuse we were all thinking of. S2E4

🤪It was fever pitch at the Sports Direct Arena, as the visit of Spurs commemorated the first game of the new Saudi regime at Newcastle United. 
Tottenham held up their side of the bargain by offering zero resistance for Newcastle’s first goal in the 2nd minute...
👻but the day swiftly turned into a nightmare for Amanda Staveley and the "Not Mike Ashely crew" and we all felt for the cameraman who’s only job was to lock his camera off at the new owners for the duration of the game, knowing full well that after the 11 minute the shot was redundant as Tottenham asserted their dominance.
The Story of the day quickly became one of a collapsed fan in the stands and the questionable conduct of 2nd half substitute Jonjo Shelvey and his 23 minute red card which everyone could agree, was not the kind human rights abuse we all had in mind when the day began. 
In other news it was the first time since Harry Redknapp that Tottenham didn’t make any substitutions but then again that day it was Ryan nelson.
👅And we look forward to beating Chelsea 2 in the Conference league and conclude that after the 29 loan deals that have occurred between Chelsea and Vitesse Arnhem since 2010 that there is indeed no relationship to speak of between the clubs whatsoever. 
But we do thank the Chelsea regime that they’ve created not just one, but 2 Chelsea’s to beat. 
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”As long as Newcastle F@^K Chelsea and City, who really cares!?”

We're 4 points off something interesting... so we thought we'd spend a bit of time looking at the nefarious goings on at Newcastle because it's much more interesting than Spurs right now and conclude... as long as it f%^ks Chelsea and City, eh? It can't all be bad. 
And congratulations Hugo Lloris winning another trophy, without Spurs...
Enjoy the show.
 

The 4 ‘R‘s- Royal, Romero, Reguilon and Die RRRRRRR!

😇The International Break has affrord Spurs fans the rare and collectible luxury of being top after 3 games with an impeccable run of thrice 1-0's:
Comprising of a Manchester City squeaky wonder show;
A Wolves pumelling but a 3 valuable points; 
and a Watford never-in-doubt and convincingly unconvincing 1-0 with A Son inswinging freekick that the goalkeeper refused to keep out;
🥶We look forward to the group stage of the Check-a-trade Intermarché Cup with Vitesse Arnhem, Rennes and the Slovenians NS Moura who have fewer followers than us.
🤑And we discuss whether the 4 "R"s...that's right...Royal, Romero, Reguilon, and Die RRRR (Rodon, Anyone?) can provide Spurs the platform whereby Kane's goals mean something in his Oprah Winfrey farewell tour.
🤞Finally we look ahead to the Crystal Palace and then we play Arsenal in episode 2 of the All or Nothing documentary entitled : "The Burial".
Unfortunately José won't be available to fix that particular movie. 
Special mention to Irene, Spurs oldest season ticket holder who has sadly passed away at the mighty 106 years of age. 
Big love

Sonny the City Slayer (S2_E2)

This week we celebrate Sonny the City Slayer… as his solitary goal lays waste to Premier league champions and UCL finalists opening day aspirations.
In a match where all the while our hero and saviour Harry Kane witnessed proceedings from the bib cupboard deep in the bowls of the Amazon Echo arena to eventually creep out at midnight to be ignored by the street sweepers…

S2_ep1_"It's the Queen, Stephen Fry, Clare Balding and then Harry Kane...In that bloody order!"

Season 2 of the Tottenham Chronicles...
It's Nuno time at the White Hart Amazon Echo Dome and pre-season has gone swimmingly.
We talk notable departures in Lamela and Aldeweireld and the exciting arrivals of Romero, Gollini, and Bryan Gil.
Next on our list of topics is our little snafu regarding our number 10 and nations darling Harry Kane...
When it comes to national treasures the list goes: 1/The Queen, 2/Stephen Fry, 3/Clare Balding, 4/Harry Kane and we discuss how much Manchester City need our talisman to be loved and consider whether Manchester City fielding a weakened team on Sunday is part of the proposed Harry Kane transfer. 
And still losing....
Oooooohhhppfftttt!
 
 

So long José. Were you ever really here?

Jose is sacked by Spurs. He never really recovered from Zagreb did he? But overall, was his tenure just a bad dream when it would appear that the only thing of concern to Spurs was somehow hoodwinking their way into the European Super league without any of the footballing merit?
Spurs can't win at football in the face of financially bloated squad's and so decided to win at football, away from the pitch, with commercial ties and a huge multi purpose arena to attract JP Morgan, the bank financing the European Super league.
It would appear Daniel Levy used Mourinho's stature and pedigree in the game to catapult Spurs into a competition that they really have very little right to participating in. Mourinho was in on it. The task was complete.
What we have learnt in this unfortunate episode is that winning, losing and drawing are of no consequence when the European Super league rolls into town. 
I'm as furious as when the offside rule was created in the 1863 when dishonour was brought to the game. It will always be this way. 
Let's get back to playing nice football, shall we?
 

RABONA-COASTER EP 26

🥁It's been a nourishing FIVE wins since our forgettable West Ham defeat a month ago.
We have recently witnessed the return to form of Bale and quite possibly Harry Kane's most accomplished finish ever as they lit up victories against Burnely 4-0, Wolfsberger 8-1 on Aggregate, Fulham 0-1 and Palace 4-1.
🇦🇷All this served to tee up a clash for the ages as we faced 10th placed Arsenal in what ultimately resulted in a bad day at the abattoir with a grizzly affair where everything hit the skids for the Spurs and with it bringing a 2-1 defeat consisting of a:
A Lamela Rabona goal with our first attack of the half;
A deflected Odegaard strike to level;
An existential crisis of a penalty in the form of a Lacazette air shot which eventually made it 2-1;
A 2nd yellow for Lamela for a hand in Tierney's face... whilst in possession of the ball. 🤬
And the unedifying spectacle of witnessing our right back drown on a slightly moist pitch. 
We look ahead to the 2nd Leg away at Dynamo Zagreb and discuss just who will be in the technical area as we learn that Head Coach Zoran Mamic is soon to be incarcerated for pocketing the Modric transfer money 12 years ago.⏳
And we finish up by addressing the constant tinkering of the rules in the game as we propose tangible rule changes that we can all get behind, like;
Goals will no longer be the end of the fun, as we suggest that we make more of every goal by proposing the absolute anarchy of being able to double your tally by offering the opportunity to any member of the attacking team to hit the bar after the ball has hit the back of the net, to earn your side 2 goals...not the mere 1 as the miserly game currently offers. Imagine the chaos? That's Double Goal Trouble. 😳
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"THE PURGE" part 1. Ep 25

🥶Spurs find themselves in February 2021 convulsing between 2 conflicting world's (🤑both horrendous🤬) threshing in the mire, a dead squad tied to a renounced regime. Will the necromancer be allowed to continue his purge so that it may rise once more? 
We look at Liverpool, Brighton, Chelsea, West Bromwich, Everton and Manchester City games. Yowzas. 🤡
 

No Tanguy, No Party!

This week the Chroniclers spend far too long considering:
🤬 the upsetting 1-1 draw with Fulham
🤭the tasty 1-3 against Sheffield United and Ndombele's unique talent.
🤿 the bog standard Wycombe Wanderers victory 1-4 in the F.A cup.
🧄We also preview Liverpool, talk through the Rodri silly offside that prompted a rule change and why it's a shame Spurs were deprived of getting Frank Lampard sacked as Abramovich pulled the trigger before we had the chance.
bugger.
🍔

"Dele fell over in Marine"

☠️ Leeds walk straight into José's Lair. 3-0
🙀Brentford try to give us Coronavirus as we head to Wembley... In April... 2-0
🚮Dele is mugged off by his own bench in Marine. 0-5
 

Lord of the Gash

😈 This week we rip into the Liverpool, Leicester and Wolverhampton Wanderers game's and hypothesise why José parks the bus and then summarily he throws everyone under it. 
💩Perhaps to get a few more players in the January window? Who knows. Enjoy
and Merry Christmas. What's left of it.👍

WILL JOSÉ BIN OFF THE FIRST HALF AT ANFIELD?

👾In Tottenham's biggest league game since 2010 is tonight the night we finally become winners we've all been afraid of and prevail at fortress Anfield?💉
🦷Oh and we look back at Crystal Palace, Royal Antwerp and Arsenal.🧘🏼

EP 20 The month of death is looking pretty perky after a win and a draw against the Citizens and the blues.

It's hard watching for everyone isn't it? but at least we are top of the league?

Brighton, bale'd over and Antwerp, royally unimpressed.

🛎Bale takes 3 minutes to take all 3 points against strikerless Brighton in a 2-1 win that lifts Spurs to 2nd.
🧸José throws toys out of the pram with 4 half-time substitutions against the number 1 matriculated side in Belgium, Royal Antwerp
💔Pochettino waltzes back into our lives, flaunting it on Monday Night football and compares Dele to Ronaldinho surely not.

"Don't sink to Burnley's level, rise from beneath it, and then wreck it."

- It's all hail Vinicius this week, as we applaud the Brazilian's standout debut for Spurs in the Europa League.
- We take a look at how Trippier, Foyth and Vertonghen are doing abroad owing to my lack of cancelling my Premier Sports subscription. UGH.
- and finally we examine the match that only a mother could love against the blunt instrument that is Burnley and how it was every bit as crucial as defacing United 1-6 at Old Trafford.

"Spurs were 10 minutes from winning the league." West Ham United 3-3.

On the show this week we slobber all over the 3-3 with West Ham;
We take a forensic and yet apoplectic look at Project 'Big Picture'
which turned out to be Euro Super League. OOPS!!! 
and finally we discuss whether José is the perfect Covid Coach to deliver the prize we all crave.