The Tottenham Chronicles

THE HOUSE OF CONT_S2_E13

Crickey! 6 points against the champions elect this season, then the abject and yet absurdly inevitable Burnley reverse to be supplemented by the beating of a soon to sacked Bielsa's Leeds and then another flacid away day at Middlesbrough in the Cup which leaves everyone connected with Spurs ever so slightly numb and wishing away the months until the Summer. 
Don't you just love this ridiculous game?
We discuss Conte and what the hell is going on, and conclude that Abramovich's departure via the back door after 20 years will benefit Spurs in the years to come. 
In Cont we Trust.

”I’d throw it in the incinerator, but it won’t burn twice.”

This week we discuss the end of the world plus the Southampton (2-3) and Wolverhampton Wanderers (0-2) defeats. 
 
...whilst reminiscing on our trip to the San Siro 11 years ago. FFS.
 
 

The TOP 4 conundrum (and how I love the BOMBA!)

Top 4 is on; and Conté expects no less. Oh and by the way, Harry Kane is back.
We discuss the Leicester miracle, the Chelsea debacle and the Brighton  routine victory in the FA cup to set up Middlesborough in the next round.
And we welcome Kulusevski and Bentancur to the club whilst semi mourning the loss of Ndombele, Lo Celso and Dele Alli. Bryan Gil remains superb.

Traoré, the bearded lady and sword swallower. (S2_E10)

It's been an encouraging start under Conté but we expected no less, Liverpool escaped with a draw, Palace rolled over 3-0, Southampton delivered a drab 1-1 draw and a Watford last minute victory through Davinson Sanchez which has left Spurs within touching distance of the top 4 before our humbling 2-0 against Chelsea in the Carabao cup where "we looked like a team of Darren Caskeys" before our 3-1 victory against Morecambe in the F.A Cup to set up a tie against Brighton.
We discuss the magnificence of Lloris and why the organisation has failed Tanguy and ruminate on why inverted wingbacks has convinced us that Adama Traoré should be signed; along with a sword swallower and a bearded lady for good measure before Arsenal at the weekend.
 
 

Tottenham v Liverpool; if ever there was a game to convince the government not to shut down football this was it.

👅I watched that that Liverpool game back. We spanked them. 3 games in hand; we're coming for ya!
🥁We touch on Mura, being dumped out of Europe and the storm brewing under Conté.
 

Does Olé get to keep the Wheel, or will he receive smaller replica?” + Vitesse, Everton and Leeds. (S2_E8)

This week we cover our new supremo's first game against Vitesse Arnhem which turned out to be a cavalcade of debacles resulting in a narrow 3-2 win and finishing up with 10 v 9 on the pitch after 3 sending's off. Which means that with a win against Ns Mura ( I know) and Rennes we are greasing this group.
we then before the interminable bore of another international break, there was a mildly titillating 0-0 at Goodison Park against Everton...where the highlights were a penalty that wasn't one, nor was it given, ( I know pretty dull) and Lo Celso hitting the post and Holgate decapitating Hojbjerg's sock in a nasty red card challenge for the 2nd half substitute playing woefully out of position and it bloody well showed. 
This was followed by a narrow 2-1 victory against Leeds in Conte's first home league game where the first half was Mourinho (shades of AVB) and the second prime Pochettino demonstrating Antonio's tactical genius. ahem. 
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”It‘s not you, Nuno, It‘s Tottenham.”

Nuno has been sacked after 4 months in the job...Classy....surely the easiest 4 Million quid anyone this week has every made. 
We got the dog of War and serial crater maker Antonio Conté to shake things up...I hope the lies Don Fabio has spun him don't put too much of a strain on their relationship. 
It's going to end in a ball of flames, and everyone is invited. 
 

The Pit and the Pendulum (S2E6)

Welcome to the Tottenham Chronicles podcast, a show where we know our Kevin Scott’s from our Noureddine Naybet’s and this week we ruminate on two 1-0 away reversals at Vitesse Arnhem in the Euro Budgens plate and West Ham in the Global Ephemera shield.
Two outfits that have subsequently lost to Go Ahead Eagles and the other reducing Manchester City to rubble in in the Manchester City cup. 
We don't talk about Burnley in this one at all. But we went through. Hurrah!
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Jonjo Shelvey - not the kind of human rights abuse we were all thinking of. S2E4

🤪It was fever pitch at the Sports Direct Arena, as the visit of Spurs commemorated the first game of the new Saudi regime at Newcastle United. 
Tottenham held up their side of the bargain by offering zero resistance for Newcastle’s first goal in the 2nd minute...
👻but the day swiftly turned into a nightmare for Amanda Staveley and the "Not Mike Ashely crew" and we all felt for the cameraman who’s only job was to lock his camera off at the new owners for the duration of the game, knowing full well that after the 11 minute the shot was redundant as Tottenham asserted their dominance.
The Story of the day quickly became one of a collapsed fan in the stands and the questionable conduct of 2nd half substitute Jonjo Shelvey and his 23 minute red card which everyone could agree, was not the kind human rights abuse we all had in mind when the day began. 
In other news it was the first time since Harry Redknapp that Tottenham didn’t make any substitutions but then again that day it was Ryan nelson.
👅And we look forward to beating Chelsea 2 in the Conference league and conclude that after the 29 loan deals that have occurred between Chelsea and Vitesse Arnhem since 2010 that there is indeed no relationship to speak of between the clubs whatsoever. 
But we do thank the Chelsea regime that they’ve created not just one, but 2 Chelsea’s to beat. 
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”As long as Newcastle F@^K Chelsea and City, who really cares!?”

We're 4 points off something interesting... so we thought we'd spend a bit of time looking at the nefarious goings on at Newcastle because it's much more interesting than Spurs right now and conclude... as long as it f%^ks Chelsea and City, eh? It can't all be bad. 
And congratulations Hugo Lloris winning another trophy, without Spurs...
Enjoy the show.
 

The 4 ‘R‘s- Royal, Romero, Reguilon and Die RRRRRRR!

😇The International Break has affrord Spurs fans the rare and collectible luxury of being top after 3 games with an impeccable run of thrice 1-0's:
Comprising of a Manchester City squeaky wonder show;
A Wolves pumelling but a 3 valuable points; 
and a Watford never-in-doubt and convincingly unconvincing 1-0 with A Son inswinging freekick that the goalkeeper refused to keep out;
🥶We look forward to the group stage of the Check-a-trade Intermarché Cup with Vitesse Arnhem, Rennes and the Slovenians NS Moura who have fewer followers than us.
🤑And we discuss whether the 4 "R"s...that's right...Royal, Romero, Reguilon, and Die RRRR (Rodon, Anyone?) can provide Spurs the platform whereby Kane's goals mean something in his Oprah Winfrey farewell tour.
🤞Finally we look ahead to the Crystal Palace and then we play Arsenal in episode 2 of the All or Nothing documentary entitled : "The Burial".
Unfortunately José won't be available to fix that particular movie. 
Special mention to Irene, Spurs oldest season ticket holder who has sadly passed away at the mighty 106 years of age. 
Big love

Sonny the City Slayer (S2_E2)

This week we celebrate Sonny the City Slayer… as his solitary goal lays waste to Premier league champions and UCL finalists opening day aspirations.
In a match where all the while our hero and saviour Harry Kane witnessed proceedings from the bib cupboard deep in the bowls of the Amazon Echo arena to eventually creep out at midnight to be ignored by the street sweepers…

S2_ep1_"It's the Queen, Stephen Fry, Clare Balding and then Harry Kane...In that bloody order!"

Season 2 of the Tottenham Chronicles...
It's Nuno time at the White Hart Amazon Echo Dome and pre-season has gone swimmingly.
We talk notable departures in Lamela and Aldeweireld and the exciting arrivals of Romero, Gollini, and Bryan Gil.
Next on our list of topics is our little snafu regarding our number 10 and nations darling Harry Kane...
When it comes to national treasures the list goes: 1/The Queen, 2/Stephen Fry, 3/Clare Balding, 4/Harry Kane and we discuss how much Manchester City need our talisman to be loved and consider whether Manchester City fielding a weakened team on Sunday is part of the proposed Harry Kane transfer. 
And still losing....
Oooooohhhppfftttt!
 
 

So long José. Were you ever really here?

Jose is sacked by Spurs. He never really recovered from Zagreb did he? But overall, was his tenure just a bad dream when it would appear that the only thing of concern to Spurs was somehow hoodwinking their way into the European Super league without any of the footballing merit?
Spurs can't win at football in the face of financially bloated squad's and so decided to win at football, away from the pitch, with commercial ties and a huge multi purpose arena to attract JP Morgan, the bank financing the European Super league.
It would appear Daniel Levy used Mourinho's stature and pedigree in the game to catapult Spurs into a competition that they really have very little right to participating in. Mourinho was in on it. The task was complete.
What we have learnt in this unfortunate episode is that winning, losing and drawing are of no consequence when the European Super league rolls into town. 
I'm as furious as when the offside rule was created in the 1863 when dishonour was brought to the game. It will always be this way. 
Let's get back to playing nice football, shall we?
 

RABONA-COASTER EP 26

🥁It's been a nourishing FIVE wins since our forgettable West Ham defeat a month ago.
We have recently witnessed the return to form of Bale and quite possibly Harry Kane's most accomplished finish ever as they lit up victories against Burnely 4-0, Wolfsberger 8-1 on Aggregate, Fulham 0-1 and Palace 4-1.
🇦🇷All this served to tee up a clash for the ages as we faced 10th placed Arsenal in what ultimately resulted in a bad day at the abattoir with a grizzly affair where everything hit the skids for the Spurs and with it bringing a 2-1 defeat consisting of a:
A Lamela Rabona goal with our first attack of the half;
A deflected Odegaard strike to level;
An existential crisis of a penalty in the form of a Lacazette air shot which eventually made it 2-1;
A 2nd yellow for Lamela for a hand in Tierney's face... whilst in possession of the ball. 🤬
And the unedifying spectacle of witnessing our right back drown on a slightly moist pitch. 
We look ahead to the 2nd Leg away at Dynamo Zagreb and discuss just who will be in the technical area as we learn that Head Coach Zoran Mamic is soon to be incarcerated for pocketing the Modric transfer money 12 years ago.⏳
And we finish up by addressing the constant tinkering of the rules in the game as we propose tangible rule changes that we can all get behind, like;
Goals will no longer be the end of the fun, as we suggest that we make more of every goal by proposing the absolute anarchy of being able to double your tally by offering the opportunity to any member of the attacking team to hit the bar after the ball has hit the back of the net, to earn your side 2 goals...not the mere 1 as the miserly game currently offers. Imagine the chaos? That's Double Goal Trouble. 😳
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"THE PURGE" part 1. Ep 25

🥶Spurs find themselves in February 2021 convulsing between 2 conflicting world's (🤑both horrendous🤬) threshing in the mire, a dead squad tied to a renounced regime. Will the necromancer be allowed to continue his purge so that it may rise once more? 
We look at Liverpool, Brighton, Chelsea, West Bromwich, Everton and Manchester City games. Yowzas. 🤡
 

No Tanguy, No Party!

This week the Chroniclers spend far too long considering:
🤬 the upsetting 1-1 draw with Fulham
🤭the tasty 1-3 against Sheffield United and Ndombele's unique talent.
🤿 the bog standard Wycombe Wanderers victory 1-4 in the F.A cup.
🧄We also preview Liverpool, talk through the Rodri silly offside that prompted a rule change and why it's a shame Spurs were deprived of getting Frank Lampard sacked as Abramovich pulled the trigger before we had the chance.
bugger.
🍔

"Dele fell over in Marine"

☠️ Leeds walk straight into José's Lair. 3-0
🙀Brentford try to give us Coronavirus as we head to Wembley... In April... 2-0
🚮Dele is mugged off by his own bench in Marine. 0-5