The Tottenham Chronicles

This is the most comfortable transfer window in recent memory: UCL qualification, an incredible group of players that is being bolstered daily by assassins and a manager that brings the pain...and as for everyone else they are recovering from Ryan Mason's wedding piss up!
We talk Richarlison, Perisic and Bissouma and how the art of deception is Conté's secret weapon.

Nuno Espirito Santo, Pacos de Ferreira, Antonio Conte and NS Mura; this season has been a wild ride comprising of pain, hardship and more pain, but inexplicably we are now 90 minutes away from Champions league football. 
Soccerball, eh?
Our best night ever against our made up arch rivals and ill-conceived Arsenal followed by a dry Burnley match ( did you really expect anything less?) culminating in an Arsenal gut drop for the ages against Newcastle which sets up a final match of the season against an already relegated Norwich…what could possibly go wrong?
But if it all goes right...some of the best attacking talent in the World will be representing in the World's finest knock out competition...or it might be Eddy Nketiah!!!
We are building right!
UP the Spurs.!

It's a winner takes all (perhaps) in the penultimate, penultimate match of the season between 4th and 5th to maybe decide who will go into the prequalifying rounds of a competition that neither team can possibly win. 
Oh, this one is for the ages alright. 
It's a match as big as the 1991 FA Cup semi final at Wembley...and 5 years since Arsenal finished above Spurs in the league.
Can Tottenham survive the might of Rob Holding, Elneny, Cedric Soares and Eddy Nketiah?
This is the biggest, albeit spuriously rearranged, game for Spurs since 2019...
Take it all.
#coys

Losing to Brighton at home (0-1) and drawing away at Brentford (0-0) after obliterating Newcastle, Villa, Everton and Leeds to be 2 points behind 4th place with 5 games to go. The Nause-a-coaster continues apace. On the plus side, Europa league looks like it's in the Bag. Yeeeeeeeeaarrrruuhhhhvomithghgffft.

This week we discuss West Ham having bigger games than playing Spurs as they are rolled over (3-1), Newcastle sent packing with Shelvey at centre back (5-1), Romero being better than Diaz and looking forward to ripping the souls out of Arsenal in the play off to piss on United's grave. Top 4 here we come! Extended happy days!
COYS

A United loss and a painful reminder Ronaldo is the 34th best player on the planet at 37; followed by a Brighton routinely far from routine 0-2 victory that will only be remembered for Harry Kane's Pepsi endorsement by kicking a Coca-Cola bottle that we can only assume was lobbed by a Spurs fan. 
Heady days! Top 4 is somehow still on and the Arsenal rearranged defeat is still to come. Vamos!
We discuss the devil of Romero, Kane's insuperable brilliance and Kulusevski at Brommapojkarna of Stockholm Europe's largest football organisation with 247 age teams of mutiple age groups comprising of 3000 players. Dejan must have been a player to get through that lot.

9 Goals in 2 games without reply against Leeds and Everton to go some way to banishing the horror of our recent home defeats to set up a prize shitshow against feckless Manchester United at the Weekend. 
We talk loan players, the PSG collapse and why Marcos Llorente needs to sign for Spurs and why 2 images spliced together of Maradona's Body in 1986 and Matt Doherty's implacable face of 2020 has caused a minor internet sensation. Behold: Matt Maradoherty!
No crap quizes or rubbish competitions. Just crap. Enjoy!
 

Crickey! 6 points against the champions elect this season, then the abject and yet absurdly inevitable Burnley reverse to be supplemented by the beating of a soon to sacked Bielsa's Leeds and then another flacid away day at Middlesbrough in the Cup which leaves everyone connected with Spurs ever so slightly numb and wishing away the months until the Summer. 
Don't you just love this ridiculous game?
We discuss Conte and what the hell is going on, and conclude that Abramovich's departure via the back door after 20 years will benefit Spurs in the years to come. 
In Cont we Trust.

This week we discuss the end of the world plus the Southampton (2-3) and Wolverhampton Wanderers (0-2) defeats. 
 
...whilst reminiscing on our trip to the San Siro 11 years ago. FFS.
 
 

Top 4 is on; and Conté expects no less. Oh and by the way, Harry Kane is back.
We discuss the Leicester miracle, the Chelsea debacle and the Brighton  routine victory in the FA cup to set up Middlesborough in the next round.
And we welcome Kulusevski and Bentancur to the club whilst semi mourning the loss of Ndombele, Lo Celso and Dele Alli. Bryan Gil remains superb.

It's been an encouraging start under Conté but we expected no less, Liverpool escaped with a draw, Palace rolled over 3-0, Southampton delivered a drab 1-1 draw and a Watford last minute victory through Davinson Sanchez which has left Spurs within touching distance of the top 4 before our humbling 2-0 against Chelsea in the Carabao cup where "we looked like a team of Darren Caskeys" before our 3-1 victory against Morecambe in the F.A Cup to set up a tie against Brighton.
We discuss the magnificence of Lloris and why the organisation has failed Tanguy and ruminate on why inverted wingbacks has convinced us that Adama Traoré should be signed; along with a sword swallower and a bearded lady for good measure before Arsenal at the weekend.
 
 

👅I watched that that Liverpool game back. We spanked them. 3 games in hand; we're coming for ya!
🥁We touch on Mura, being dumped out of Europe and the storm brewing under Conté.
 

This week we cover our new supremo's first game against Vitesse Arnhem which turned out to be a cavalcade of debacles resulting in a narrow 3-2 win and finishing up with 10 v 9 on the pitch after 3 sending's off. Which means that with a win against Ns Mura ( I know) and Rennes we are greasing this group.
we then before the interminable bore of another international break, there was a mildly titillating 0-0 at Goodison Park against Everton...where the highlights were a penalty that wasn't one, nor was it given, ( I know pretty dull) and Lo Celso hitting the post and Holgate decapitating Hojbjerg's sock in a nasty red card challenge for the 2nd half substitute playing woefully out of position and it bloody well showed. 
This was followed by a narrow 2-1 victory against Leeds in Conte's first home league game where the first half was Mourinho (shades of AVB) and the second prime Pochettino demonstrating Antonio's tactical genius. ahem. 
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Nuno has been sacked after 4 months in the job...Classy....surely the easiest 4 Million quid anyone this week has every made. 
We got the dog of War and serial crater maker Antonio Conté to shake things up...I hope the lies Don Fabio has spun him don't put too much of a strain on their relationship. 
It's going to end in a ball of flames, and everyone is invited. 
 

Welcome to the Tottenham Chronicles podcast, a show where we know our Kevin Scott’s from our Noureddine Naybet’s and this week we ruminate on two 1-0 away reversals at Vitesse Arnhem in the Euro Budgens plate and West Ham in the Global Ephemera shield.
Two outfits that have subsequently lost to Go Ahead Eagles and the other reducing Manchester City to rubble in in the Manchester City cup. 
We don't talk about Burnley in this one at all. But we went through. Hurrah!
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🤪It was fever pitch at the Sports Direct Arena, as the visit of Spurs commemorated the first game of the new Saudi regime at Newcastle United. 
Tottenham held up their side of the bargain by offering zero resistance for Newcastle’s first goal in the 2nd minute...
👻but the day swiftly turned into a nightmare for Amanda Staveley and the "Not Mike Ashely crew" and we all felt for the cameraman who’s only job was to lock his camera off at the new owners for the duration of the game, knowing full well that after the 11 minute the shot was redundant as Tottenham asserted their dominance.
The Story of the day quickly became one of a collapsed fan in the stands and the questionable conduct of 2nd half substitute Jonjo Shelvey and his 23 minute red card which everyone could agree, was not the kind human rights abuse we all had in mind when the day began. 
In other news it was the first time since Harry Redknapp that Tottenham didn’t make any substitutions but then again that day it was Ryan nelson.
👅And we look forward to beating Chelsea 2 in the Conference league and conclude that after the 29 loan deals that have occurred between Chelsea and Vitesse Arnhem since 2010 that there is indeed no relationship to speak of between the clubs whatsoever. 
But we do thank the Chelsea regime that they’ve created not just one, but 2 Chelsea’s to beat. 
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We're 4 points off something interesting... so we thought we'd spend a bit of time looking at the nefarious goings on at Newcastle because it's much more interesting than Spurs right now and conclude... as long as it f%^ks Chelsea and City, eh? It can't all be bad. 
And congratulations Hugo Lloris winning another trophy, without Spurs...
Enjoy the show.
 

😇The International Break has affrord Spurs fans the rare and collectible luxury of being top after 3 games with an impeccable run of thrice 1-0's:
Comprising of a Manchester City squeaky wonder show;
A Wolves pumelling but a 3 valuable points; 
and a Watford never-in-doubt and convincingly unconvincing 1-0 with A Son inswinging freekick that the goalkeeper refused to keep out;
🥶We look forward to the group stage of the Check-a-trade Intermarché Cup with Vitesse Arnhem, Rennes and the Slovenians NS Moura who have fewer followers than us.
🤑And we discuss whether the 4 "R"s...that's right...Royal, Romero, Reguilon, and Die RRRR (Rodon, Anyone?) can provide Spurs the platform whereby Kane's goals mean something in his Oprah Winfrey farewell tour.
🤞Finally we look ahead to the Crystal Palace and then we play Arsenal in episode 2 of the All or Nothing documentary entitled : "The Burial".
Unfortunately José won't be available to fix that particular movie. 
Special mention to Irene, Spurs oldest season ticket holder who has sadly passed away at the mighty 106 years of age. 
Big love